Stuttering tutor

I want extra income so I tried online tutoring. I am to teach english to koreans via the internet. Today was my  interview and it was so awkward! I stuttered and words couldn't come out of my mouth properly. I didn't know what to say and I suck big time! A boring online tutor I will be :((
I hid my face because I look so haggard! The interview lasted for only 20 minutes.
It was a disaster, I tell you haha
Tomorrow is the demo and I don't know what to teach or say, I haven't picked a topic yet. I am thinking of a quote the student can explain..
I am not confident with my verbal communication skill, I can only write :| But I need to practice for my IELTS. I want to work outside the country and New Zealand's what I am eyeing for haha
*sigh*

Will be a tutor again? An English tutor this time.

the cliche in love: i love you with your flaws

It's so easy to say we love people with their flaws if their flaws don't hurt us.
We're so quick to say, 'it's OK if you're neither pretty nor healthy, it's OK if you're always late or you cook bland foods, it's OK if you move slow..I'm OK with your flaws'. But what if the person's flaws are something that hurts you? What if she does something unconsciously that hurt you? Can you forgive and love still? Or give up and say 'it's too tiring to love this person because I'm hurt'.

Let's admit it : we're selfish. When something is inconvenient for us, when we're hurt, we stop and drop everything and let the relationship we said we 'love' and 'treasure' shatter to the ground. We always see ourselves as the victim, we say 'I've loved too much, I've given too much'

Why is it like that? Where's the love in 1Corinthians 13?

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

(here's another version of the verse from English standard version)

⁴ Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant ⁵ or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;^[a] 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things,endures all things.

⁸ Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.

Love is enduring the pain it comes with. Nobody said love is pain-free. We decorated love so much that when we see the ugly, tattered side of the person we claimed to love, we step back and run away in disgust. Everyone is flawed and that is the loud booming truth.

“I don’t know a perfect person.

 I only know flawed people who are still worth loving.”

 John Green

Isn't love embracing the good with the bad? Didn't Jesus embrace us when we're stinking in sin?

If Jesus, the Son of God, gave everything even his life to save you, nothing we give is too much, even love.

it's glittery and it's yellow

I received a yellow glittery box for my birthday.

It contains color pens and a small yellow album.

It has a picture of Wendy on its topmost page (I removed it from the sleeve for better view haha). 

Yes, that's me!

And inside the sleeves are cards with messages from my loves :)

Thank you God for such people who are willing to love...in action :)

Adventure, can you hear me?

Adventure...does it exist?

I was watching a historical romantic Korean drama about a girl who disguises herself  as a boy to enter a prestigious school exclusively for, yes you guessed it right, boys. Her desire to learn and to change her life drove her to do such act. In the drama, our heroine encounters many challenges - triumphs and defeats. But a protagonist is never alone. She has 3 young lads along with her in her adventures inside the school and in life. There, I said it. Adventure. That word popped into my mind while watching the drama. Her life's full of adventures..not a dull minute. Well yes because it's fiction but still I want to believe real lives are more colorful than what we see in dramas.

And so a question was raised. Adventure? Does it still exist? 

 After watching, I saw my dad downstairs on his usual place. He was sitting at the far end of the table facing his laptop watching videos/news. My dad used to have lots of adventures but not now. He stays at home, watches news, washes my uniforms, watches news, sometimes watches movies, finds job in the internet, and stays home most of the week. What is adventure for him?

I look at my life. Nothing seems to move and it's not also being still. It feels like I am stuck somewhere in this endless universe. My life seems to be in a box labeled "work". I spend 5 days a week working. Work is not hard, it not just it. I want to love what I do. I want to work in such a way that even if I'm not paid with a hefty amount, I would still work and give my 100% because I love it.

I think my life is plain. Adventure seems a far off destination I could not go.
But then I squeezed my brain to bring to surface my lost memoir of adventures.

As a kid, adventure was as simple as running along the corridor with your friends, collecting newspapers for school project, running in the rain, cheering for your team, cleaning the classroom, going to new places outside your city, boat ride in less than a minute, getting your dream clothes for a very low price, dissecting a frog, walking late on the street, discovering a personal space at school where only you know, sneaking to get a glimpse of your crush, and the list goes on.

As a kid, everything is an adventure. Where does that spirit go? I have yet to uncover. Hopefully I could find it again. Finding it seems like the start of an adventure, don't you think? :-)

Oh, the places you'll go!

“And will you succeed?

Yes! You will, indeed!

(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)

KID, YOU'LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!

So...

be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray

or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O'Shea,

you're off to Great Places!

Today is your day!

Your mountain is waiting.

So...get on your way!”

― Dr. Seuss, Oh, the Places You'll Go!

When it was too far to walk

I miss jeepney rides.

I started riding jeepney alone when I was in 2nd year high school when my dad flew to a distant country to work. We sold our car because no one knew how to drive except him.
I remember that day when I first rode my country's original, the jeepney. It was my friend's birthday and her house, the venue, was just a jeepney ride away from mine. I went there with them from our school but had to go home alone. They "para" or stopped the passing jeepney for me and told the driver to drop me to our street. I rode and was silently observing the people. The jeepney was packed you couldn't hardly move an inch. There's a deafening sound from the stereo and some head-popping-feet-tapping people. I could smell the perfume and sweat of the persons beside me. It was quite an adventure for a 15-year old me.

I started riding jeepneys everyday in college. My school was 3 jeepney rides away from our home. It's a 45-minute travel. I enjoyed it most when there's music playing, not the loud ones. Jeepney ride gives me time to ponder on things and to observe different people. It gives me a sense of tranquility somehow. I feel like I'm up for an adventure because several times had I been lost riding a jeepney. There were times the jeepney would go on a different path from the usual that I am familiar with.Sometimes it would take me farther from my destination that I had to take another ride back.  There were times when countless jeepneys would pass me by and none of them would stop because they were full. In some days I would squeezed myself in just to get home. It was quite an adventure really, the four years I rode the jeepney.

Then I started working somewhere very near in our home. My workplace is just a 10-minute walk from home and when there are lazy days I don't want to walk, I just ride a tricycle and in less than 5minutes I am home.

Last week I went to see a dermatologist in Makati. A different city from where I live. I was with my parents and it was 2 jeepney rides away. The first ride was not very fun because it was short and it was full of people and there's no decent music. The second brought back memories. There were few passengers and there's good music. The sun had set and it was cold. I felt the cool air sweeping my cheeks.

I miss those days. The days where you're just waiting to arrive at your destination while enjoying the view and the sweet breeze. The days where silence is your companion.

I miss being still in this busy world.

the other side of the issue second best

I wanted to share an email sent by my discipler to us 'cause I believe this is also for you :-) 

I was prompted to encourage Wendy to believe that not only can God do the impossible, He can do the impossible in HER life because God loves her. She isn't a last resort, an unfavored daughter or anything of that kind. So I told the girls let's all turn to THE verse (Jan and I nicknamed it that because it's the favorite verse to quote in testimonies hahaha) which is Jeremiah 29:11. I have the NIV version in my mind so we were all in for a wonderful surprise when I read out loud from my version (my new KJV Bible).

*For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.*

Grabe. EXPECTED END. Lahat kami na pa-whoa. Who would've thought that theKJV version would make it so much clearer -- the future that God meant orreferred to in that verse? God is saying the future is not uncertain, it iscertain if it is in Me. And it is good, not evil.

She said what I couldn't put into words :)

God can do the impossible in your life. He knows your heart and you're never forgotten. He is good and he is God.

I am still confident of this: 

I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.

-Psalm 27:13