Scars

Boxing, headbands, and tank tops

I went to boxing gym earlier with my boxing partner. We wore our usual outfit, comfy pants (leggings for her and jogging pants for me) and t-shirt, and our new addition to the look, our headbands. I arrived at around 5:40pm and she was there 5:30pm. We started warming up after I placed my things in the shelf, took my handwraps and gloves. Our trainer instructed us to start warming up then the jump ropes while he still had clients to attend to, 2 pretty ladies with physically fit bodies, I should say. The 2 ladies were on their cool down part when we started our warm up. We got tired doing jump ropes and we decided to check the time. It was already 6:30pm and we're still "warming up". We decided to call it a day and headed to the cashier to get our vouchers back. We didn't want to continue our boxing session today because it was getting late. The session was supposed to be just for an hour or it can extend but we've had enough of jump ropes! Jump ropes for almost an hour! We packed our things, got our vouchers, told our trainer we'd cancel today, and left the gym.

Pretty girls. What made us left was not the fact that it was getting late but because we've had enough of warm ups! We felt like we're taken for granted (haha) just because we look like kids playing inside the boxing gym. I wore loose t-shirt and not-fitting-pants and rubber shoes. We didn't have make up on our face or have nice bodies; we're not even tall. We look like kids, lost. Then I realized that the world is really unfair. Looks matter for people. If you've got pretty face, you're in! I dwell on that thought for so long, I've dwelt in it for almost my whole life. Thoughts like that would drag your self-worth down and soon you'll find yourself on the corner of a room, pitying yourself for being "not good enough" to people.

What makes a person beautiful? I believe it's more than a pretty face, nice body, and shiny hair. Physical appearance can sure attract people but it won't make people stay. I'm not against pretty girls but I'm just saying that beauty is not measured by how people see you outwardly but how you see yourself. One has to believe she's wonderfully created by God. God says you're beautiful and you have to believe that and live in that truth unless you say He's a liar.

Your eyes are carefully designed by God, so is your nose, ears, mouth, arms, even your belly! God is into details and He made you unique, uniquely beautiful. When you start living in that truth, you'll feel more confident about yourself and you'll glow even more.

People who love God and believes that God loves them have this unexplainable "glow" in them. I often hear people say to me "you're blooming" when my relationship with God is good. But I see myself looking stressed out when I am far from Him, when I choose to believe I'm ugly because someone is "better looking" than me according to the world's standard. When our inside is ugly so it reflects on the outside. When our heart is full of envy, anger, self-pity, or anything negative, our outside appearance reflects that; we're grumpy and always trying to "look pretty". But when our heart is full of love and gratitude to God, when our focus is on Jesus not on ourselves and other people, we radiate and shine like Him :)

So chin up, girl! You're beautiful! Let yourself bloom in the Light. Keep looking to Jesus :)You are beautiful. Weighing scales, pimples, frizzy hair, mirrors, and people don't define you :)

1 Samuel 16:7 "The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." (NIV)

Psalm 139:14 "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."

There could never be a more beautiful you
Don't buy the lies, disguises and hoops, they make you jump through
You were made to fill a purpose that only you could do
So there could never be a more beautiful you

  

friends, shoes and a little konnyaku gel

"Friends are the family that you choose for yourself."

How do we choose a friend? Is it like shopping for a pair of stilettos that match your evening ball gown? Or a pair of sneakers for everyday errands?

When I was younger, smaller, and rounder, my parents would take me to malls to find that perfect pricey shoes that would match my chiffon dress. Of course the perfect shoes has to be a pair of high-heeled shiny, metallic, beaded shoes. It would take us hours to find that only to wear it for a night and spend the rest of its prime years inside the shoe cabinet, gathering cobwebs and dust. I'm not a fan of stilettos and my feet hurt when I wear them for more than an hour. I can't run with those nor can I jump. I can't take long walks or trudge rocky roads. But who could deny it's alluring beauty? My mom says women look sexy wearing high-heeled shoes. Sometimes I even find myself looking and drooling over a pair of sparky shoes in the window display of a store but I know deep down that I don't need it. Why? Because it is uncomfortable; my feet sore and callouses form. But why do we women invest on those? Well yes for most because it's part of their everyday look but as for me? It matches the shoe cabinet more than it matches my everyday outfit.

As I grew older, taller, and a bit slimmer, events such as graduations, dinner parties, and debuts become less and less and so is the need for flowing dresses hence the shoes that go with them.
My parents seldom buy me shoes because I'm now earning a little since I received my last diploma. I choose carefully the things that I would have them buy for me. And the things I ask for are mostly shoes. Why? Because shoes are more expensive than clothes. (Grab the benefit of a little earner while it lasts haha). I asked my dad for a pair of running shoes and sandals and my mom for a pair of sneakers. I picked shoe design that would match almost everything in my closet to save money. I only have a pair of sneakers, a pair of sandals and a pair of running shoes that my parents bought. Just a pair of each. I wear my sneakers almost anywhere - in grocery stores, malls, friend's house, church, etc. My rubber shoes are my companion in boxing and running. My sandals are for errands or just-around-the-corner walks.

So why did I compare shoes with friends? Because shoes take us to places we've never been or we've always been. It's hard walking barefoot outside your home. Shoes protect our feet from stones, mud, and poops. Our capacity to walk from one place to another mainly depends on how comfortable our shoes fit us. I went to Rockwell with my friends after our testimonial dinner and I stopped every 5 minutes or so to rest my aching feet for I was wearing stilettos because a pair complemented my dress. Friends, like shoes, are with us as we journey. We invest on shoes like we invest on friends. As Marilyn Monroe put it,

“Give a girl the right shoes, and she can conquer the world.”

Give a man the right friends, and he will conquer the world. David has Jonathan, Frodo has Sam, Harry has Ron and Hermione, Fred has George,

"Frodo wouldn't have gotten far without Sam"

You might say, "Well I don't have Sam or Ron in my life; I have Malfoy and Golum instead". I know it's hard to find that perfect crazy fit. And there are times when we can't find comfort in our friends and even family, when we feel alone and dejected. Rest assured my friend that the longings of our hearts to be loved immeasurably and unconditionally cannot be satisfied by mere mortals. Friends, like family, are gifts and fill a part of us but not completely. Their love is limited and so is ours. If the gift cannot satisfy, the Giver can.The Giver of the gifts is the one who can fill our hearts; His love goes to corners we don't want people to penetrate or people don't want to go; like water, God fills every empty space inside us with His love until it overflows and manifests in the way we live. John 15:13 tells us about this love,

Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.

 Jesus did that because of His love that shouts His glory. Jesus loves you :)

I'm thankful and blessed to have friends that stick more than a konnyaku gel. Friends make God's love tangible. :)