Browsing old photographs brought memories. I saw my carefree-i-don't-give-a-damn-how-i-look face on the photos. I may not be photogenic or pretty, I may not know how to angle myself but the photos give an i-know-i'm-beautiful-because-i-feel-it-inside impression.
I used to be full of life and sunshine. You cannot trace stress on my face when now it is tattooed all over.
I miss those fearless, joyful days.
Here's me more than a year ago
Not the prettiest photo. No make up. No take two. A stolen shot of when I was sharing my life with the girls at the retreat. It was all honesty. I knew back then I was at peace, contented, and loved beyond question. I believed that goodness is there; beneath the chaos there's hope because God is there. I was so secured in God that I could smile at the storm, I could sleep with the waves crashing on my sides because Jesus is with me in the boat and he will get me through to the other side of the ocean. I know that it is still true and will forever be. Jesus will always be my Savior and Lord who could and would calm the raging storms within and around me. I want to be engulfed with that truth, to let myself let God be God again. To let him consume me until I am totally His.
If I take pictures of myself these days, can I look at these photographs 1 or 2 years after and say to myself,
"Wow, there's so much hope, peace, faith, and love"?
