I met a man who climbs almost half a year ago. It was the time when butterflies long abandoned my stomach and instead of colorful wings, acids and fats lurked in my stomach.
He was introduced to me by a colleague because he had worked with him before. He is the shy, laid-back type of gent. He looked like a child stuck in that body of boulders. His eyes were round and glistening and his smile, contagious. It was my third day in the area but our first day meeting. He toured me around, just the two of us walking in the hallway. It was a tranquil night where only our footsteps and a few snores and scratching of bedsheets could be heard aside from his soft, masculine voice and my short timid responses. I described it to my friends as "tour around the world" where you just want to savor the moment, every step, every word, and every glance. I don't know when I started to like him but it could be traced to that fateful night.
After the tour, we settled inside the station. We sat next to each other and he taught me things about work. After a brief orientation, he showed me his feel-at-home supplies. He had containers of coffee and sugar, packs of creamer, teaspoons, and even offered me his mug to drink on. He told me to just get what I want, to feel at ease. Every night, we talked about random things like life, family, his adventures, our dreams (separately) and little on relationships and love. He used to read newspaper articles at the station. I usually sat in front of him and wrote notes. Conversation was always present. I told him about me working as a part-time tutor before being hired at the hospital. He asked me what I teach and how I handle the kids, if I get annoyed or pissed if they're being brats. Then I would ask him about his work experience. After an hour or two of conversing, he would go to the other room to rest.
There was this one night when I was counting the tablets and capsules and he was reading a newspaper beside me. We talked about relationships. Then there was this awkward moment of silence. No one spoke or tried to open a new topic after my short "ah" response. I continued counting and he continued reading. It was awkward and no one dared to break the silence for a few seconds. Then he stood from his chair and went to get/check something in the cabinet and took the initiative to start a new topic. It was awkward enough for me to want to disappear from my seat but good thing he cut the string of dead air.
I was awkward, he was too. I used to like him. He likes someone else.
I learned some things from that one month. It's to enjoy the present, be thankful for what is there but never holding it tight, to move on and to accept, to let go. :)
I learned to climb. Climb and conquer my mountains of self-doubts and second best. I may be bruised but the view was breathtaking.
