I am still confident of this:

I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living

Psalm 27:13

The issue within the issue of second best

The issue within the issue of second best.

Have you ever felt second best? I do and it sticks to me like a leech sucking my joy away. I've always thought I couldn't separate from that leech because 'it's the people around me who makes me second best'.

Yes, people may have intentionally or unintentionally made us feel second best, that we don't amount to anything hence we don't deserve the best (even the good  sometimes), but the real issue, the real deal is really (I'm using so much 'real' here haha) within ourselves. Because we let people define our worth? Partly yes. But maybe the real reason, the root of our insecurities and second best issue is the way we look at ourselves. We see ourselves, unconsciously or consciously, as someone deserving the best - the best treatment, the best anything - and when we don't get that, we get frustrated, feel mistreated, unloved, we begin to see ourselves as the victim.

How we measure ourselves affect how we perceive one's action towards us. The problem in the issue of second best is that we focus too much on ourselves; beneath that victim facade lies a villain that we created in and for ourselves. We're selfish, self-centered people, by nature, hiding in the pitiful mask of i-am-treated-second-best.

The remedy is to take the focus off ourselves, besides we're not the center of the universe.
Focus on the center of everything, the Creator of the universe and everything that existed, exists, will exist, and nonexistent, focus on Jesus.

pimples and more...pimples

Lately my pimples are popping every day! I tried applying almost everything in the cosmetic shops and beauty stores but nothing seems to work. I was getting really frustrated that I wanted to spend all my allowance for my face's sake! Even the patients were telling me that I have zits! (The zits are ripe for harvest!) My coworker was telling me the same and I was losing my confidence.

Image from ayearwithoutmirrors.com

My friends who know my life story were telling me that stress is the culprit! I couldn't agree more!

But as I am writing this, I know I couldn't blame everything on my stressor. I believe everything has its purpose. Yes, even zits.

A few months ago I wrote that beauty inside eventually will reflect outside. Those pimples, frizzy hair, or extra pounds don't define a person. Now, I have to remind myself of that! haha

I know that God wouldn't allow my pimples to flourish on my face without his knowing and permission. He knows every zit and blackhead on my face and he intricately placed them there for a purpose grander than I could think and that is for his glory. Right now, I have to put my security on God that no matter what people say about me is not as important as what God says about me. I want to stop focusing on myself and start looking on God. I want to saturate my mind with what God has to say through His Word rather than what people say about how I don't 'pass' as pretty to them. I want to stop comparing myself to other people and start following Jesus :-) I will embrace myself and everything in it. Jesus embraced me first with everything in me :-)

 ''Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.''. - Thessalonians 5:16-18

I may not have flawless skin, zit-free face' or coca-cola body but I am beautiful. K?
My Dad says it first :-)

And you are beautiful :-)

seeing beyond

Three brothers and a handicapped mother on an improvised wheelchair arrived at the emergency room of the psychiatric hospital. All of them was poorly groomed and barely had a bath in a week. The wheelchair of the mother was a recycled one with a monoblock chair as its seat. The mother has wounds and she has edematous legs. And if that scenario wasn't enough to move you to tears, the three brothers were all mentally ill. No sane person brought them to the hospital. The mother has poor eyesight and she was waving crumpled paper money trying to hand it to one of her sons to pay the ER fee. Our head nurse was moved to tears. The psychiatrists interviewed the brothers and admitted the two, the most stable one was sent home to take care of their aged mother. Our head nurse gave them free medicines for continuous treatment at home.

The mother looked in pain. She was cold and was looking for her socks which weren't there in the first place.

The scene was heartbreaking. How could a family have such fate? I asked God how such things could happen and yes I didn't get a definite answer but just this: God loves them and He knows them and where they are and he cares...definitely.

Love changes...

I often hear people say "Just love the person, it'll change him". Yes, there's nothing love can't reach, even the most notorious person can be moved by love. We are used to hearing stories of a bad-guy-turned-good stories because someone loved them despite of who they were. But as I try to live that "love your enemies" command by Jesus, I see the more that it's never an irony. Jesus really knew what he was teaching. Yes, it may seem absurd at first. But you see, when we love a person, he doesn't change immediately. Sometimes it may take years or a lifetime to see the change. But I think the reason why we should love our enemies is not really to change the person but us. You see, love changes not only the recipient of it but all the more the giver of it. I don't know with you but for me that's how love works. The people I love don't always respond in a mutual way. Sometimes they remain the same until they're out of my life but the love I give never fails to change me..even in the slightest way possible.

And oh, don't stress yourself if the person doesn't change, just keep loving. It's not really us who change a person but God :) I daresay my friend, keep loving; God loves you and that's where your source of love should be. Besides, God's vessel of love never runs dry. :)

“Now there is a final reason I think that Jesus says, "Love your enemies." It is this: that love has within it a redemptive power. And there is a power there that eventually transforms individuals. Just keep being friendly to that person. Just keep loving them, and they can’t stand it too long. Oh, they react in many ways in the beginning. They react with guilt feelings, and sometimes they’ll hate you a little more at that transition period, but just keep loving them. And by the power of your love they will break down under the load. That’s love, you see. It is redemptive, and this is why Jesus says love. There’s something about love that builds up and is creative. There is something about hate that tears down and is destructive. So love your enemies. (from "Loving Your Enemies")”
― Martin Luther King Jr.