The Loss I Thought I Will Never Mourn

Every morning after I pass my pee, I would go to specific corner in my house to greet a silent but day-changing dweller, the weighing scale. I tap one of the round metals on either four corners and wait for the "0.0" to appear on the small horizontal screen and the moment I step on the glass board is the moment my diaphragm stops moving. I hold my breath thinking inhaling air would increase the number on the horizontal screen which I dreaded. That's how I feel every morning. I face the weighing scale's derision at the start of my day. If my weight increases from yesterday's, I would not eat a hefty breakfast and would "punish" myself for overeating yesternight. I would be a pauper during breakfast but then I would starve at the middle of the day so I would eat like a prince at lunch and a king with a big appetite at night because I feel "deprived". So the cycle goes on, an unhealthy, misguided cycle. 

Why do I let the weighing scale dictate my day? Why do we want to be thin...thinner?
Society, the media, the world, made us believe that if only we can have a Coca-cola body then we're beautiful. Any dress would look good on, any angle on the picture would be perfect, the skinny jeans would fit, oxford shoes would match, swimsuit would be "legal" to wear, heads would turn, and the lies go on. Why do we buy those lies? Why do we let the standard of the world shape us? Why do we fear the scale and turn away disgusted at ourselves when the weighing scale shouts "FAT" with the numbers it shows? I like this picture.. Why do numbers make us cry? Why do they define us?

The villain..

I wanted to be thinner. I wanted to weigh 115pounds and then I would be contented and would feel good about myself. But I doubt that. There's always just a little more. Just a little more weight loss and I would be ok, just a little more tan, just a little straighter, just a little whiter, just a little taller, just a little fairer. Just a little more is not just a little. It's a lot and it goes deep into your system and develops ungrateful, discontented, greedy, insecure heart.

We always compare ourselves with people who have a little more. They are thinner, fairer, richer, etc. We see ourselves as someone inferior. We doubt ourselves and throw away our value to the dogs for them to feast on. Media has warped our view on ourselves. It poisoned the little girls' dreams and turned them into nightmares of self-obsession, insecurity, envy, discontentment, low self-esteem.

I still struggle with wanting to be more acceptable to the "society". But I want to stop trying to fit in a box I am not meant to live.

I want to encourage myself and you to stop seeing ourselves so small and not good enough. We have to stop wearing the skimpy clothes where we could hardly breathe and move, to throw the skinny jeans and stilettos that's holding us from  doing pirouette. Stop depriving yourself, stop unhealthy diet that's sipping your energy for fun. Beauty is not on the outside. I still believe and would always want to believe that beauty is on the inside; it starts on the inside and reflects on the outside.

This should be on every weighing scale, don't you agree?

Don't let the weighing scale weigh you down! Don't allow the tape measure to make a corpse out of you. Don't let the society define your worth.

Find your worth in Jesus. He died for you. He saved you. He didn't die on the cross so you could paddle in the puddle with pigs. Jesus has come that we may have life, and have it to the full (John 10:10). See yourself in God's perspective. You are the apple of God's eye! (Zechariah 2:8, Psalm 17:8)

Instead of exhausting yourself on being like the Victoria Secret's angels, be a Proverbs 31 woman! I am sure that when your Coca-cola body inflates, your wrinkles show, and your arthritis attacks, your character remains. And I am certain that every man wants a wife worth keeping for a lifetime, not a barbie doll stuck in a cabinet for display and then thrown in the trash when stained.

Bodies will decay but not character and the relationships nurtured.

Be beYOUtiful. Lose weight because you want to be healthy for yourself and God. You are beautiful because you are fearfully and wonderfully made by God (Psalm 139:14). To say that you're ugly and a reject is same as calling God a fake artist and a liar. Believe God when He says your beautiful.

My prayer for you is that you will see how much God loves you through His Son Jesus.
His love defines you.